


Three Sheets to the Wind

by DelightfullyDifficult



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Childbirth, Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, captain swan secret santa 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 06:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28346883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelightfullyDifficult/pseuds/DelightfullyDifficult
Summary: Even though her husband was three sheets to the wind when she went into labor, Emma figures she should consider herself lucky that no one was kidnapped or went through a magical portal to another realm.  After all, this is Storybrooke, where even childbirth can be an adventure.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Three Sheets to the Wind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pirateherokillian (Pirateherokillian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pirateherokillian/gifts).



> Written for Pirateherokillian for Captain Swan Secret Santa 2020, who wanted Drunk!Killian, Captain Charming, flangst filled Captain Swan

"Oof, right in the kidney."

Killian looked up from the strand of Christmas tree lights he was unsuccessfully trying to untangle to see Emma rubbing the side of her large belly. At just shy of eight months pregnant, his wife was as beautiful as ever. Every day since learning that they were going to have a baby, Killian had loved every change his love's body underwent, no matter how small. Her long blond hair, which always felt like the finest silk as he ran his hand through it was somehow even softer. The weight she'd put on had rounded her cheeks and made her look even more like her mother. 

However, Killian had quickly learned after his marvelous wife entered her third trimester of pregnancy to keep most of his observations to himself. As Emma's physical discomfort increased, her enjoyment of creating a new life decreased. She often joked about serving their little girl an eviction notice as soon as she passed the 38 week mark. 

Killian's attention was drawn away from his admiration of his wife's body when, with a frustrated sigh, she sat up straighter on the couch and started to rub her lower back. Abandoning the string of lights, Killian heaved himself up from where he'd been sitting on the floor and joined Emma on the couch.

"Alright there love?" He inquired as he positioned himself close enough that she could lean against him, which she instantly did.

“Just a sore back," Emma told him as he draped an arm around her shoulders.

Killian kissed the side of Emma's head as she tried to find a comfortable position. After some maneuvering, they eventually settled with his back against the arm of the couch and her resting against him. His hand slid back and forth across the skin of Emma's hard stomach, trying to sooth both her and the little pirate causing his love such discomfort.

"Only a few more weeks and our baby girl will be in your arms instead of inside of you.”

"Four weeks and five days,” Emma swiftly clarified and she sounded so disgruntled while saying it that Killian couldn't hold back a slight chuckle.

Turning her head, Emma glared at him.

Killian pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. Another on the tip of her nose, her cheek, until he finally reached her lips. They were firmly pressed together in annoyance but it took only a few moments for Emma to relent and begin to kiss him back. As the intensity of the kiss increased, Killian slowly slid his hand up Emma's body before resting it very lightly on one full breast. He gave it a tentative caress, knowing that they were more sensitive than before. Emma arched up and her breast pressed more firmly into his palm. He smiled as he dragged his lips from hers and placed small kisses down the length of her neck. Emma let out a soft moan and the sound shot straight toward his groin and he began to harder. However, the sound of the doorbell told the both of them that there would be no carefully coordinated sex for them at that moment.

Emma's yelled "come in" had a definite bite of frustration to it and he hid his groan of frustration in her hair.

Mary Margaret quickly joined them in the living room, followed by David and an excited Neal. The toddler immediately rushed over with a squeal of "Emma!" before stopping himself at the edge of the couch and carefully giving his big sister a hug. He may be only three, but the little prince understood that he needed to be careful when near Emma's stomach.

"I see tree decorating has gotten off to a rocky start," David remarked, eyeing the still-tangled strings of lights and the completely bare tree.

Killian shrugged. There would be plenty of time to decorate the tree as Christmas was still weeks away. "Duty called, mate," he said as he smiled down at Emma.

"Don't worry, we'll help Emma with tree, won't we sweetie?" Mary Margaret told them as she picked up the abandoned lights. She began explaining to her son how mischievous little elves were to blame for the mess they were in as her nimble hands went to work undoing the chaos. Killian wasn't entirely sure she was making it up, either.

David watched his wife and son for a moment before nodding at the clock above the fireplace. "You ready to go?"

The clock told him it was about half past six in the evening. He and David were signed up to compete in a darts tournament at The Rabbit Hole that began at seven. With regret, Killian let go of Emma and got off the couch. He piled pillows where he had been and helped Emma get as comfortable as possible. When she let out a low groan and grasped her belly as she leaned back, he frowned.

"Love, are you sure you're okay?" He knew she could hear the worry in his voice. "I'll be happy to stay home if you need me to."

Emma was shaking her head before he even finished speaking. "I'm fine, really. Just sore and feeling a bit cranky.” She grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Go. Enjoy a night out. We won't get many once this little one joins us."

Killian eyed her warily but eventually nodded his agreement. ''Call me for any reason, love," he told her after giving her another kiss.

She smiled at him and agreed. He couldn't resist the urge to kiss her again, so he did. He kept it quick, though, knowing David was waiting.

They reached the Rabbit Hole just before seven. Both turned over the $10 entry fee to the bartender and ordered some beer before heading over to where Sean was finishing up the tournament bracket. They were greeted cheerfully by most everyone in the bar, by a variety of names and titles. Though he was comfortable with the denizens of Storybrooke calling him by his given name, many still referred to him as Hook or Captain.

“Everyone taking part in the Tournament, gather here," Sean called from over by the now complete bracket. Killian and David joined the forty or so other people taking part.

“Rules are simple. 301 points, doubles required to win the set, and 3 sets to win the match. We only have four boards, so you'll have some down time between matches. Either Philip," Sean gestured to Aurora's husband, who was checking the flights on the dart, "or I will call your name when you’re up next."

Over the next hour, Killian watched Mulan win handedly against one of the dwarves and Smee win a close match during the fifth set, surprising even himself.

"Hook, Benjamin, you're on board four," Killian heard Sean call out.

His opponent, Benjamin, was a tall, gruff looking man from Camelot that Killian had played against a few times at Granny's Diner. He wasn't bad, but occasionally threw his darts too hard and they would bounce off the board. Killian greeted Ben with nod and a handshake as Philip flipped a coin in the air.

“Heads,” Killian called.

Philip caught the coin, slapped it on his wrist, and lifted his hand. Tails.

"Ben, you’re up first," Philip said before walking away.

Killian won that match, as well as his next two, but lost to Mulan during the fifth set of their match during the Quarter Finals.

"Good match lass," he said as they shook hands after. The warrior was skilled in a few thrown weapon styles and it hadn't surprised Killian in the least that she'd shown immense talent at darts when she'd started learning the game last year.

"You as well," she replied with a smile.

Killian gestured to a table by the wall where David sat, “Join us for a drink before your next match?"

Mulan accepted and gladly accepted a bottle of the seasonal winter beer David was drinking. His friend had lost in the last round to a sour looking fellow Killian only vaguely recognized. Since he was no longer playing. Killian decided to order a small bottle of a sailor's strength rum he enjoyed. By the end of the semi-final round, Killian was somewhere on the line between pleasantly buzzed and mildly drunk, with David only a few steps behind despite sticking to beer. Half an hour after that when the final match was over and Mulan declared the tournament champion, Killian poured her a glass of rum in congratulations.

Hand on the table to steady himself, David stood and raised his glass in a toast to her win. "To Mulan, the finest darts player in Storybrooke."

Everyone in the bar joined in and cheered. He tapped his glass against Mulan's and downed the spicy alcohol in one go. After a small sip, Mulan's face was reminiscent of the one David had had made in Neverland after the Prince's first sip from Killian's flask, and he regaled her with the tale of their adventure to collect the magical water to save David from Dreamshade's deadly poison. That story lead into another and soon half the bar was swapping tales of adventures of the past.

While listening to Mulan describe her hunt for the Yaoguai and subsequent meeting with Belle, Killian felt a vibration from his pocket. Once he retrieved his phone, he needed to blink several times before he could clearly read the screen.

Once he could, his stomach dropped. Mary Margaret was calling.

He eschewed all the courtesies of phone conversations he'd been taught and answered with a direct "What's wrong?”

The line was silent for a moment before his mother-in-law blurted out, "Emma's water broke; we are on our way to the hospital.”

Killian felt all the blood drain from his face. Their little girl wasn't due for nearly a month. It was too early for Emma to go into labor.

"We are still at the bar and neither of us are in any state to drive," Killian informed her, feeling wretched.

David and Killian had walked to the bar, since it wasn't far from Emma and his house and planned to walk home. But the Storybrooke hospital was on the other side of town. At least a forty, maybe fifty minute walk. The cold winter weather would make it an extremely unpleasant walk as well. Did Storybrooke have a taxi service? He couldn’t remember.

Suddenly, his phone was pulled from his hand by David. From the way Mary Margaret was repeating his name, she'd been trying to get his attention but he'd been too far in his own head to hear her. His mate listened for a moment before telling his wife to wake up Henry and have him take David's truck, which was parked at the house, to pick the two of them up and then drive them to the hospital.

"Henry doesn't have his license yet," Killian murmured. Emma insisted that the kid take his school's Driver's Education class first but it was only available during the spring semester.

"No one in this town is going to pull Henry over,” Mulan reassured him.

Which was true. Even if the Deputy on duty this evening saw Henry driving, he'd likely just call Emma or himself to see if something was wrong, not pull the lad over.

David returned Killian's phone and then told him, "The ambulance arrived a moment ago and will take Emma to the hospital. Mary Margaret will follow behind in the Bug with Neal.”

"It won't take Henry long to get here from the house." Killian stood as he spoke, but immediately felt the effects of the alcohol and grabbed the back of another chair to steady himself.

"Bloody hell," he whispered. It had been ages since he could remember been this drunk. Maybe not since the year in the Enchanted Forest, when he'd often overindulge in the privacy of his Captain's Quarters aboard the Jolly Roger in an effort to keep memories of Emma from invading his dreams.

Mulan appeared at his side- he hadn't even noticed she'd left the table -with two steaming paper cups in her hands. "The bartender's filled these with the strongest coffee he can make, then threw in a couple shots of espresso for an extra kick.”

Killian was pretty sure the bartender's brew would taste vile, but he nodded his thanks at the man as he took the cup from Mulan. While coffee wouldn't make him any less drunk, it would help him focus.

Coffee in hand, he and David made their way outside to wait for Henry. The cold air helped clear his head a bit and he mentally started preparing to face what would likely be his very pissed-off wife once she realized that she was likely going to deliver their daughter while he was three sheets to the wind.

***

"No. No way. Absolutely not." Emma glared at Dr. Whale when he walked into her hospital room. "Where is Dr. Page?" She wanted a real OB, not him.

Whale rolled his eyes at her rude behavior. He reviewed her chart as he told her, "Dr. Page is in surgery doing a C-section at the moment. So until she is free, you get me."

Emma continued to glare at him. She didn't like the man when he was just Dr. Whale, skeezy creep, but less so now that she knew he was Dr. Frankenstein. She did not want her daughter delivered by the unethical madman.

"According to Dr. Page's notes, you've had a healthy pregnancy with no complications. But preterm labor can happen for any number of reasons. Was Henry born early?"

Emma shook her head. "He was born at 39 week,” she told him, her voice flat.

She'd struggled all throughout this pregnancy with her memories of when she'd carried Henry. The department of corrections had provided the bare minimum of pre-natal care from indifferent doctors and nurses and delivered him while cuffed to her hospital bed. While this time she was surrounded by family and friends and had an amazing, loving partner at her side, sometimes the memories, and the emotions they brought with them, were just too much.

Her own mother appeared in the doorway, pushing a stroller where her little brother was fast asleep. "Emma was born early," Mary Margaret told the doctor. “Maybe by a month? Hard to know exactly back in the Enchanted Forest."

Dr. Whale nodded in understanding. "A family history of early births can be a contributing factor. You mentioned that your back has been sore when you were examined in the ER. Any other unusual pains or feelings of pressure anywhere?"

While Emma answered all of Dr. Whale's medically necessary but still intrusive questions, she kept one eye on the door as if she could mentally will Killian into arriving. What was taking him so long? She wanted, no, needed him here with her. The feel of his rough hand, still calloused from centuries of sailing, holding hers. He'd be able to calm her anxiety, dispel her fears, with just a few words as if casting a spell.

Emma closed her eyes tight when Dr. Whale checked to see if the amniotic sac was fully ruptured, which it was. She was also a few centimeters dilated.

"Right now, you're in early labor. I'm going to send a nurse in to collect some blood and a urine sample to test for any infections, since those can be a cause of early labor and you'll need to be treated with antibiotics." Dr. Whale snapped off his gloves before updating the chart at the end of her bed. “I'll have someone update Dr. Page."

"Wait… you’re not going to do anything to stop the labor from progressing?" Emma asked when Dr. Whale turned to leave the room. He paused by the door to answer her. “Since your water has broken, it’s best to let your labor continue and deliver your baby. Or else you both would be at risk of developing infections."

Emma's eyes began to burn as she nodded. Her mother grasped her hand as Dr. Whale left.

"Sweetie, it’s going to be alright. Your little one may be a bit small when she is born, but she's mostly all done baking." Her mother's steady voice helped calm a smidgen of Emma's fear. Enough that she was able to release the death grip she had on her mother's hand.

The sound of voices floated in from the hallway and Emma's heart jumped when she heard Killian's smooth baritone. Finally. More of her anxiety drained away. Killian stumbled a little as he came through the doorway. He paused a moment to steady himself, using the doorframe as support, before he rushed across the room towards her. At his ungainly flop into a chair next to her bed, Emma frowned.

After 200 years as a sailor, Killian usually had remarkable balance. The only time she could remember him being this uncoordinated was after a friendly drinking contest with Robin and his Merry Men. He'd come out on top but it had been a close thing. Little John, in addition to all his bulk boasted a remarkable alcohol tolerance, though it wasn’t enough to out drink a pirate with a rum hardened liver. All the Merry Men, including Mulan, were absolutely smashed when Emma arrived to pick-up her pirate. The walk to the loft had been entertaining as Killian tried to teach her his favorite sea-shanties while Emma did her best to keep Killian upright and moving forward.

Her eyes narrowed at her husband. After settling into the chair, Killian leaned forward to grasp her hand and whispered "Love, I'm so sorry." She got a good whiff of his breath as he did and the smell of the alcohol on it was almost overwhelming.

Drinking during tournament at a bar was to be expected but to get this drunk? She wondered whether there was anyone with darts related injuries in the ER. Just for a moment, though, until a contraction reminded her that she was in labor and her husband was absolutely toasted. A glance at her father and the way he was swaying side-to-side suggested he was just as drunk.

"Really?" she snapped, shooting a hard look at both of them.

Abashed, David looked down, while Killian closed his eyes. When they opened again, Emma could see the pain and shame swimming in their blue depths. She knew he would feel that he failed her, as a husband and father-to-be, by not being with her when her water broke. That he would blame himself if anything else went wrong.

She sighed. She couldn’t stay mad at her strong, noble pirate. He may be soused, but he was here now and that’s what was important. Trying not to jostle the IV, Emma placed her hand against his soft, stubble rough cheek. He leaned into her touch.

“Killian, everything is going to be alright."

Killian moved his head and pressed a kiss against her palm. When he didn't say anything, she continued, "Labor isn't a fast process, so you'll have plenty of time to sober up before meeting our daughter." She turned toward her father. “Both of you."

That earned a chuckle from her mother and soon they were all laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Tales of this night would likely become an oft told story during family gatherings. The laughter quieted when Emma had a contraction and right after the nurse appeared to collect the samples for the tests Dr. Whale requested. At some point Henry arrived with water and food from the hospital's vending machines, which Killian and David gladly accepted. At Emma's curious stare, her son assured her that it was health class, not experience that taught him what would help sober a person up.

By the time Hope Jones was born in the early morning hours, both father and grandfather were completely sober, if a bit hungover. At 5 lbs 2oz, she was on the small side but she proved her lungs were functioning just fine shortly after being born. Dr. Page pronounced her to be in excellent health for being over a month early.

Later that day, Emma lay in her hospital bed bare from the waist up except for the blanket draped across her front, under which a diaper-clad Hope Jones slept pressed against her chest. Killian, no longer smelling like a distillery after a shower and change of clothes, was stretched out next to her.

He was softly stroking Hope's back through the blanket, a look of wonder on his face.

"Swan... we..." her husband stopped and Emma watch as he seemed to physically keep himself from choking-up before he was able to resume speaking. “We have a daughter."

Emma couldn't help but laugh at the awe still present in his voice. His mind still didn't seem able to comprehend that their baby had been born. She grabbed his hand, pulling it under the blanket to lay it upon Hope's back. It rose with and fell with each breath little Hope took.

“Yeah, we have a daughter.”

After a bit, Killian's own breathing evened out as he finally allowed himself to sleep, secure with in knowledge that his family was safe and sound.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I’ve written, beginning to end, on my reMarkable2 writing tablet! I edited it on my laptop and learned I am really bad at spelling…


End file.
